Things I Am No Longer Allowed to Do in Konoha
by TheRedSeaWitch88
Summary: This is what happens when you're bored, with a friend, and both of you are Naruto fans. Especially if both of you have twisted imaginations. Enjoy!


Terra Nympha Dryadis and I came up with this years ago at a BW3 while waiting for our meal. As you can see we were both **extremely** bored.

I blame her, my imagination, and afriendtosell for their story _150 Things Konoha Shinobi Are Not Allowed To Do_, which inspired us to do this list. I would also like to blame (thank) Innortal for their _The Naruto Omake Files: Innortal Style_ fic. It inspired some of the numbers on the list.

If anyone has any more ideas to add please leave a review and I will add it in another chapter. I kinda wanna see how crazy this gets (and yes I will credit you in that chapter)

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**Things I'm no longer allowed to do in Konoha**

1\. I am not allowed to give Gaara sweets and tie him to _**ANYONE**_. Apparently Kankurou hasn't stopped complaining about his eyes yet.

2\. I am not allowed to tell Jiraiya that Orochimaru is stalking him naked again. Apparently Jiraiya screams like a girl.

3\. I am not allowed to drug Tsunade and Naruto and place Naruto on her chest as if he was breastfeeding and send the pics to Jiraiya/Kakashi.

4\. I am not allowed to sell fan-girls pictures of baby Sasuke cuddling a blonde-furred, blue-eyed stuffed kitsune doll. Apparently Sasuke's aim is very accurate.

5\. I am not allowed to send Iruka flowers and sign the card "With all my love. Mizuki." Kakashi is a jealous boy.

6\. I am not allowed to sell tickets to fan-girls for a nighttime show of what goes in Sasuke's bedroom. Naruto found out and went Kyuubi on me.

7\. I am not allowed to dress-up Kakashi, Iruka, Sasuke, and Naruto as the Village People and have them sing the YMCA, no matter how gay they are. Although Kakashi does seem to like Iruka in a*-less chaps...

8\. I am not allowed to tie Itachi to a bed and cover him with sushi. Apparently it makes Kisame go wild with lust.

9\. I am not allowed to tie Kisame to a bed and cover him with pocky. Apparently Itachi bit the wrong thing.

10\. I am not allowed to shove Deidara and Tobi in a closet for an hour...no matter how funny the sounds that come out of there were.

11\. I am not allowed to threaten Tobi with being a bad boy if he does not shove Deidara and Sasori in a closet.

12\. I am not allowed to bribe Tobi to get him to interrupt Pein and Konan's "happy time" again. Tobi had many paper cuts, but is still a good boy...

13\. I am not allowed to make Kunoichi Gone Wild...5.

14\. I am not allowed to convince Chouji that Shikamaru is a chubby chaser.

15\. I am not allowed to tell Sai that Naruto really is "d*k-less"

16\. I am not allowed to knock out Tsunade, henge into her, and order a Konoha-wide orgy...and I am not allowed to blame it on Danzo and the Elders...again.

17\. I am not allowed to tell Sasuke that the only way to gain the Mangekyo Sharingan is to never have sexual release. Ever. From anyone. (Blame the Naruto Omake Files: Innortal Style for this one).

18\. I am not allowed to make Naruto transform into a Kyuubi-human hybrid, collar him, and parade him around Konoha naked. Nosebleeds are killers.

19\. I am not allowed to blackmail Kakashi by placing Sailor Senshi fuku, in his size, in his house and then blowing it up. (Another Naruto Omake Files blame).

20\. I am not allowed to create Bondage Queens Sakura, Hinata, Temari, Haku (don't ask), Ino, Matsuri, and TenTen and sick them after the boys. I am especially not allowed to send the results to Jiraiya for Icha Icha "inspiration"...again. (Yet another Naruto Omake Files blame)

21\. I am not allowed to convince Orochimaru that Jiraiya wants to play "Hide the Snake."

22\. I am not allowed to get Jiraiya drunk and convince him that Tsunade works in the Redlight District.

23\. I am not allowed to convince Naruto that cat meat tastes better than ramen, even if Tora deserves to die.

24\. I am not allowed to switch out the rolls of toilet paper in Anbu headquarters with rolls of exploding tags...and blame it on Naruto...again. (Yet another Naruto Omake Files blame)

25\. I am not allowed to convince the Sasuke fan-girls that yaoi is the way of life...again.

26\. I am not allowed to convince Naruto or Tobi that speaking in old English will get them more chicks.

27\. I am not allowed to convince Sakura that the "Nutcracker" is a good attack move to use against any Shinobi...no matter how much they annoy her.

28\. I am not allowed to convince Lee that Naruto wants to share in his youthfulness.

29\. I am not allowed to make Tsunade drunk and convince her to make "This Is The Song That Never Ends" Konoha's theme song.

30\. I am not allowed to help Naruto make Hokage Mountain move and sing "It's A Small World After All"...again.

31\. I am not allowed to sing "All around the mulberry bush Sandaime chased Itachi; Sandaime thought 'twas all in fun, Pop! goes Itachi." in front of Itachi, Kisame, Sasuke, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Naruto, Orochimaru, Sakura, etc. ...Especially in front of Itachi because his aim is very accurate and his eyes see all.

32\. I am not allowed to make Jiraiya, Tsunade, OR Lee sing the Another Irish Drinking Song even if it was funny to see everyone's face when they did


End file.
